Steven Murray
paolomachiniRoy versus the Magic 8 Ball
October 4th 2010 21:04
In todays fun-packed summary of the world of Liverpool football club we have the latest from the fan demonstrations including their call for the sale of Ngog; another thrilling goalless draw; full update on the lost to the Sea Sea Seasiders and an interview with the most knowledgeable football expert on the planet and if he’s in-line to replace Roy; it’s an interview with the Magic 8 Ball!!!!!
Ok, weather terrible, night is a Thursday, kick off at random time and match is on ITV4 – it can only be the number 1 competition in the world the Supa-Duper Europa League waste of life cup. Big Whoooosshhhh! Utrecht v Liverpool, which is a game that reminds me of Scrabble; a game only the intellects can love. Utrecht may or may not have been at full strength, who knows since I know none of their players which I apologise for but the highly rated van Wolfswinkel was upfront; not often you see Wolfswinkel outside of Chester Zoo. Anyways Roy dropped Agger; obviously his days are numbered (that’s Danny’s days). Alongside this, Kelly the young right back played left back, Meireles the anchor midfielder went on the right; Joe Cole was on the pitch somewhere; Kuyt was randomly all over the shop (including feature on the sponsor boards) and dignity who has been missing from this club for 3 years was yet again lost in action. Anyway kick off happened, we done well for 7 minutes as we passed the ball sideways, back, sideways and back again – why is this tactic so familiar?
Anyways, Utrecht had plenty of chances but the young van Wolfswinkel flopped in-front of goal; he offered plenty of penetration but couldn’t out fox Pepe in goal. Liverpool had one decent chance as Torres got a one on one but Vorm made a nice little save. It would have been an undeserved goal and in all fairness, it was a lucky point at the end of the day. That was Thursday in a nut-shell.
Now on to Sea Sea Seasiders, a song which is both geographically and factually correct. Pre-game SOS marched in protest of the current owners; Hicks and his pal George – it was definitely a success with the numbers in the thousands again. I would say, any Red should join the SOS union and support this cause, the regulators and banks are useless so us fans need to do the hard work. Anyway the protest was loud and peaceful as always:
My favourite song to the tune of ‘Give Peace a Chance’ by John Lennon was:
All we are saying is sell up and go
All we are saying is sell up and go
Just to clarify, it wasn’t a call to sell Ngog – ‘All we are saying is sell up Ngog’ as Purslow will claim in January. This protest hit the ground around 15 minutes before kick off which was handy. So I enter the ground and not a single fan is confident we can beat Blackpool. Low and behold Roy made a couple of changes including the return of Gerrard and Carra out on the left – lets hope Blackpool don’t have any players with pace on the right; oops!
Anyway, first half and within 10 minutes Torres realises he’s left the cooker on and is subbed for Ngog. Then Liverpool hit the self-destruct button – we general give Blackpool the ball a lot and especially in our half; eventually Blackpool are granted a penalty as Glen Johnson makes a tackle which only the last kid picked in PE would make. Reina is faced by Adam; Adam slots the ball to the corner, Pepe gets a hand on it but the pace takes it in to the corner (so close to a wonderful save). Liverpool players look for direction; Roy is too busy making Alex Ferguson a bouquet of flowers and a card to show his appreciation than manager. Liverpool restart and still are rubbish in an abstract way; I suppose I mean rubbish which is worth millions of pounds like an exhibition in the Tate. Ultimately, in injury time Blackpool stroll in to the Liverpool box and Varney knocks the second in – the crowd scream offside; you scream; I scream; we all scream ICE CREAM; ok it was time for refreshments and toilet break. The feeling amongst the fans was Roy needs to do one and do one now – the minority still arguing for Roy; it ends in arguments.
Second half kicks off – Liverpool are marginally better and find a goal as Nick the Greek nods home a Gerrard freekick; the belief returned and fans where saying ‘remember Istanbul’ (I made this bit up as what was said is not fit for publication). Liverpool apply pressure, like a spiders leg on a metal girder – the final ball was terrible like an American Graduation movie and the atmosphere was so bad I almost wished Cliff Richard would turn up and knock out a few tunes during the rain. Liverpool were constantly caught by counter-attacks; which was unsuitable for our chess piece tactics and ultimately Nick should of got his second yellow but fair do’s to the ref who had empathy with putting another Greek out of a job and let him play on. Liverpool nearly got an undeserved equaliser as Nick rose like a Colossus and nedded the ball towards the goal; keeper makes a good save and that is it for Liverpool. Liverpool are roundly booed (which I don’t like); chants begin for Kenny Dalglish and Roy’s reign is looking more untenable. The Kop claps off the Seasiders and appreciates the effort they put in for a memorable victory; Liverpool on the other hand on now in a relegation battle. Roy talks after the game; we cannot question his 35 years of management experience at teams such as Malmo – Roy didn’t mention his time at Blackburn were he pretty much relegated them or Inter were the fans lobbed bottles and lighters at him in disgust of his tactics and management style. Anyway Roy needs to understand one simple point; Blackburn, Leeds and Newcastle were too good to go down but in reality they never got results and went down – this is a relegation battle until we have the points in the bag.
The game was followed by another post-match protest which yet again called for the owners to do one. Hopefully RBS will call in the debt on the 6th October and play Hicks hand.
Now to the bit we have all been waiting for; the exclusive interview with the Magic 8 Ball. The Magic 8 Ball has the answers – this is the question on our lips ‘Will Roy still be our manager by christmas?’
Oh dear; the outlook is not good for Roy. Next question – ‘If you managed Liverpool 8-ball would you drop Poulsen?’ the ball says ‘Absolutely!’ – the ball of knowledge understands the game.
Do you think Lucas can become the next Alonso?
Ok, even the Magic 8 Ball has his limitations but not too worry. Final football question of the day – ‘Magic 8-ball – would you consider replacing Roy if the job came up?
And on that positive note; a burning non-related question for the ball of glory – ‘can co-writer Paul ever compete with this level of insanity?’
And on this note I will sign off until the next episode of Roy and Liverpool!
Magic 8 Ball Exclusive
Ok, weather terrible, night is a Thursday, kick off at random time and match is on ITV4 – it can only be the number 1 competition in the world the Supa-Duper Europa League waste of life cup. Big Whoooosshhhh! Utrecht v Liverpool, which is a game that reminds me of Scrabble; a game only the intellects can love. Utrecht may or may not have been at full strength, who knows since I know none of their players which I apologise for but the highly rated van Wolfswinkel was upfront; not often you see Wolfswinkel outside of Chester Zoo. Anyways Roy dropped Agger; obviously his days are numbered (that’s Danny’s days). Alongside this, Kelly the young right back played left back, Meireles the anchor midfielder went on the right; Joe Cole was on the pitch somewhere; Kuyt was randomly all over the shop (including feature on the sponsor boards) and dignity who has been missing from this club for 3 years was yet again lost in action. Anyway kick off happened, we done well for 7 minutes as we passed the ball sideways, back, sideways and back again – why is this tactic so familiar?
Liverpools Tactical Inspiration
Anyways, Utrecht had plenty of chances but the young van Wolfswinkel flopped in-front of goal; he offered plenty of penetration but couldn’t out fox Pepe in goal. Liverpool had one decent chance as Torres got a one on one but Vorm made a nice little save. It would have been an undeserved goal and in all fairness, it was a lucky point at the end of the day. That was Thursday in a nut-shell.
Now on to Sea Sea Seasiders, a song which is both geographically and factually correct. Pre-game SOS marched in protest of the current owners; Hicks and his pal George – it was definitely a success with the numbers in the thousands again. I would say, any Red should join the SOS union and support this cause, the regulators and banks are useless so us fans need to do the hard work. Anyway the protest was loud and peaceful as always:
A Message for Tom and George
My favourite song to the tune of ‘Give Peace a Chance’ by John Lennon was:
All we are saying is sell up and go
All we are saying is sell up and go
Just to clarify, it wasn’t a call to sell Ngog – ‘All we are saying is sell up Ngog’ as Purslow will claim in January. This protest hit the ground around 15 minutes before kick off which was handy. So I enter the ground and not a single fan is confident we can beat Blackpool. Low and behold Roy made a couple of changes including the return of Gerrard and Carra out on the left – lets hope Blackpool don’t have any players with pace on the right; oops!
Anyway, first half and within 10 minutes Torres realises he’s left the cooker on and is subbed for Ngog. Then Liverpool hit the self-destruct button – we general give Blackpool the ball a lot and especially in our half; eventually Blackpool are granted a penalty as Glen Johnson makes a tackle which only the last kid picked in PE would make. Reina is faced by Adam; Adam slots the ball to the corner, Pepe gets a hand on it but the pace takes it in to the corner (so close to a wonderful save). Liverpool players look for direction; Roy is too busy making Alex Ferguson a bouquet of flowers and a card to show his appreciation than manager. Liverpool restart and still are rubbish in an abstract way; I suppose I mean rubbish which is worth millions of pounds like an exhibition in the Tate. Ultimately, in injury time Blackpool stroll in to the Liverpool box and Varney knocks the second in – the crowd scream offside; you scream; I scream; we all scream ICE CREAM; ok it was time for refreshments and toilet break. The feeling amongst the fans was Roy needs to do one and do one now – the minority still arguing for Roy; it ends in arguments.
Second half kicks off – Liverpool are marginally better and find a goal as Nick the Greek nods home a Gerrard freekick; the belief returned and fans where saying ‘remember Istanbul’ (I made this bit up as what was said is not fit for publication). Liverpool apply pressure, like a spiders leg on a metal girder – the final ball was terrible like an American Graduation movie and the atmosphere was so bad I almost wished Cliff Richard would turn up and knock out a few tunes during the rain. Liverpool were constantly caught by counter-attacks; which was unsuitable for our chess piece tactics and ultimately Nick should of got his second yellow but fair do’s to the ref who had empathy with putting another Greek out of a job and let him play on. Liverpool nearly got an undeserved equaliser as Nick rose like a Colossus and nedded the ball towards the goal; keeper makes a good save and that is it for Liverpool. Liverpool are roundly booed (which I don’t like); chants begin for Kenny Dalglish and Roy’s reign is looking more untenable. The Kop claps off the Seasiders and appreciates the effort they put in for a memorable victory; Liverpool on the other hand on now in a relegation battle. Roy talks after the game; we cannot question his 35 years of management experience at teams such as Malmo – Roy didn’t mention his time at Blackburn were he pretty much relegated them or Inter were the fans lobbed bottles and lighters at him in disgust of his tactics and management style. Anyway Roy needs to understand one simple point; Blackburn, Leeds and Newcastle were too good to go down but in reality they never got results and went down – this is a relegation battle until we have the points in the bag.
The game was followed by another post-match protest which yet again called for the owners to do one. Hopefully RBS will call in the debt on the 6th October and play Hicks hand.
Now to the bit we have all been waiting for; the exclusive interview with the Magic 8 Ball. The Magic 8 Ball has the answers – this is the question on our lips ‘Will Roy still be our manager by christmas?’
8 Ball Causes Headlines
Oh dear; the outlook is not good for Roy. Next question – ‘If you managed Liverpool 8-ball would you drop Poulsen?’ the ball says ‘Absolutely!’ – the ball of knowledge understands the game.
Do you think Lucas can become the next Alonso?
Oh Dear 8-Ball
Ok, even the Magic 8 Ball has his limitations but not too worry. Final football question of the day – ‘Magic 8-ball – would you consider replacing Roy if the job came up?
Watch Out Roy - he's got more than 35 years of experience
And on that positive note; a burning non-related question for the ball of glory – ‘can co-writer Paul ever compete with this level of insanity?’
Dam You 8-Ball!
And on this note I will sign off until the next episode of Roy and Liverpool!
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Comment by Steven Murray
Football Head
My Angry Blog
My Liverpool Story
Anyway Liverpool do only move sideways like a fussball table team and offer no movement or imagination and that is my point.